Cheating is one of the most difficult things to face in a relationship. What makes it even worse is when you have that gut feeling that something isn’t right, but your partner keeps swearing up and down that nothing’s going on. I’ve been there before, and I’ll tell you honestly—it’s a very confusing and painful place to be.
When I suspected my girlfriend was cheating, I didn’t want to believe it at first. I loved her, and I kept telling myself I was just overthinking. But deep down, something didn’t feel right.
The way she acted, the way her stories didn’t line up—you know those puzzle pieces that just don’t fit no matter how hard you try to force them together. Eventually, I realized that she wasn’t just hiding something—she was lying.
The truth is, most people who cheat don’t just confess. They lie, they cover things up, and they do whatever it takes to make you think you’re crazy. But if you know what to look for, the signs are there most of the time.
Let me walk you through what I noticed—and the common red flags—that can help you tell if someone is lying about cheating.
How To Tell If Someone Is Lying About Cheating
1. Their Story Keeps Changing
When it came to my girlfriend and her cheating, one of the very first things I noticed was that her stories never added up.
One day she said she was out with a friend, another day she slipped and said she stayed home. I remember one night I asked her what she had for dinner, and she gave me three different answers over the course of a week.
That’s when I realized it—if someone is telling the truth, the details remain consistent. But liars are caught when they can’t remember what they said before.
Related; How To Confront a Cheating Boyfriend
2. They Get Defensive Too Quickly
I’ll never forget the first time I flat out asked her, “Are you seeing someone else?” Instead of calmly explaining, she exploded at me.
She accused me of being insecure and paranoid, and suddenly the whole conversation became about attacking me.
That’s a classic sign. Someone who doesn’t have anything to hide will want to reassure you. But someone who is lying about cheating will usually turn it around and make you feel bad for even asking.
3. Their Body Language Reveals Them
Words can be controlled, but the body isn’t so easy to hide. When I confronted her, she couldn’t look me in the eye.
She kept fidgeting with her phone, avoided sitting too close, crossed her arms, tapped her foot, and even forced smiles that didn’t reach her eyes. If their body language doesn’t match their words, take note. Lies often reveal themselves in these little signals.
Related; 9 Ways Men Punish Their Wives For Cheating
4. They Over-Explain Everything
This one always stood out to me. When I asked where she was, instead of just saying, “I was at my friend’s house,” she’d go into unnecessary detail—like what TV show they watched, what snacks they had, and who texted her during the night.
At first, I thought she was just being open. Later, I realized she was trying too hard to make her story sound believable. Over-explaining is usually a cover-up for guilt.
Related; Heartfelt Letters To A Cheating Husband
5. Their Phone Habits Suddenly Change
Her phone was the biggest giveaway. Before, she’d leave it lying around unlocked, and sometimes even asked me to play music on it.
But suddenly, it was always face down on the table, password-protected, and glued to her hand like it was an extra limb. She’d step outside to take calls, and when I casually picked it up, she snatched it back nervously. That change in phone behavior told me more than her words ever could.
6. They Dodge the Question
Whenever I asked, “Did you cheat?” she never gave me a direct “No.” Instead, she’d say things like, “Why would you even think that?” or “I can’t believe you’d accuse me of this.”
Looking back, I realized she was dodging the question. When someone is innocent, they’ll deny it clearly and without hesitation. But liars often give vague answers or try to deflect and change the topic.
Related; How Long Does It Take to Forgive Someone for Cheating?
7. Intimacy Begins to Feel Different
Another thing I noticed was how our intimacy changed. At first, she pulled away—less cuddling, less eye contact, less interest in being close. Later, she swung to the opposite extreme, becoming overly affectionate as if to cover her tracks. That sudden change in intimacy was another clue. Cheating often causes strange fluctuations in closeness.
Related; 6 Ways to Make Your Boyfriend Stop Cheating
8. They Gaslight You
One of the hardest parts of the whole experience was the gaslighting. She made me feel crazy for even thinking she might be lying. “You’re imagining things,” she’d say, or “You’re just paranoid.”
At times, she even convinced me that I was the problem. But deep down, I knew I wasn’t making it up. If your partner constantly twists things and makes you question yourself, it’s usually because they’re hiding something.
Related: How To Make A Cheating Boyfriend Feel Bad
9. You Catch Them in Small Lies
I first caught her lying about small things—like saying she was at the store when she wasn’t, or claiming her phone died when I knew it hadn’t.
At the time, they seemed like little lies, but together they created a bigger picture. Small lies are like cracks in a wall—they may not bring it down immediately, but eventually they reveal that the whole structure is weak.
10. Your Gut Keeps Warning You
The biggest sign of all was my gut. No matter how much she tried to convince me, no matter how much I wanted to believe her, something inside me kept saying, “This isn’t right.” And as painful as it was, my gut was right. That inner voice you hear when something doesn’t add up is powerful. Don’t ignore it.
Related; 7 Signs Your Husband Might Be Considering Cheating
Final Thoughts
Finding out someone you love is cheating—and then lying about it—is devastating. I know how heavy that feels because I’ve lived it. But here’s what I learned: the truth always finds a way out. Lies might buy time, but they can’t cover things up forever.
If you’re seeing several of these signs, don’t sweep them under the rug. Pay attention, trust your instincts, and don’t be afraid to ask hard questions.
At the end of the day, you deserve honesty, respect, and peace of mind. And if your partner can’t give you that, it’s not your fault—it’s simply proof that they weren’t the person you believed them to be.
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