We are going to talk about relationships now, OK? The relationships that are supposed to be full of life and the ones that pull the life out of you. I have been through relationship situations where it appeared to be the best thing possible in the beginning, and then I realized that the red flags were there. A few of those flags were things she said, and things, in hindsight, I should have run away sooner.
I understand, relationships are tricky. Human beings are imperfect and we can all speak off the cuff. However, when such phrases begin to form a trend in a relationship, they are no longer simply words, but are the indicators that a relationship is not as healthy as it ought to be. When you hear any of these 7 things being uttered by her, know that it is high time that you reevaluate your decision to stay. Here’s why:
1. “You’re too sensitive.”
This bites again. She is undercutting your emotions and causing you to doubt your own heart reactions. Yeah, we all can be wired up to blow things out of proportion sometimes, but constantly labeling you as being too sensitive is a way to dismiss your feelings. This is one of the games that narcissists employ to ensure that you feel your feelings do not count.
When she keeps saying that you are too sensitive, you know it is not a playful statement; it is a method of manipulating you emotionally and blocking any meaningful attachment. The truth? What you feel counts. Don’t be misled by anyone.
Related: How to Make Her Feel Like a Priority
2. “I never asked for this much commitment.”
Commitment is a decision, it cannot be imposed on anybody. However, that would mean that she does not recognize the emotional commitment that you have put into the relationship should she say such a thing. It makes me feel like she is boxing you in because you care too much, or that you are the one who has been putting in more effort in the relationship.
A good relationship does entail caring and striving, there should be no way that one of the partners is left feeling that they are begging to be loved and needed. When she is trying to guilt you into not wanting to take the relationship to the next level or when she is trying to make you feel guilty about being emotionally involved with her, she is clearly not on the same wavelength as you.
3. “You’re just like all the others.”
Ouch. When she tells you this, she is most likely comparing you to her exes or past experiences, and that is a great red flag. It implies that, as women, she can no longer see you as you are, but as an old disappointment and heartbreak. It feels as though you are being treated to situations in which you were not guilty.
Nobody wants to feel that he or she is being predestined to fail even before an opportunity to succeed is given. In case she is using baggage from the past on you, it probably means that she is not ready to be in a healthy and trusting relationship. When you hear this more than once, this means that you may never get out of her past.
Related: What To Do When Bored With Your Girlfriend
4. “I don’t care, do as you please.”
This is one of those things that feel like she is putting you free, but that is emotional manipulation. She may say this because it is a form of refusing to take personal responsibility regarding the situation. She is getting out of a discussion or an argument and she has left you to make the significant decisions — which is normally decisions that will give rise to her being upset later.
This type of passive-aggressive behavior is not healthy. You should be able to communicate freely and openly in a relationship, and when she closes by saying, “I will do whatever I want,” then it is a great sign that she is emotionally detached. That is not a partner — that is a person who is trying to make sure you cannot succeed.
5. “You wouldn’t understand.”
The purpose of this line is to make you think that you are inferior or unable to understand her needs/feelings. It frequently comes with a superiority complex on her side, the kind of feeling that they are on different emotional levels or that what she sees can be trusted.
Nobody should put you at par with less. Love relationships are concerned with growth and understanding. When she plays the “you wouldn’t understand” card, it is high time to question why she is not ready to talk openly and make you feel listened to.
Related: 7 Clear Signs You Are Not in Love
6. “I don’t need you.”
This is likely one of the most toxic things to hear in a relationship. When somebody tells you, “I don’t need you,” what they are actually saying to you is that they do not value the emotional connection that you share. All relationships have aspects that are based on mutual dependency, without being codependent, but in that nature of needing and enjoying the appreciation of one another in a healthy relationship.
When she says this, it means that she is already emotionally distancing herself and, by the looks of it, is already pulling away. The thing is, relationships should be nurturing, and when she says that she doesn’t need you, she probably doesn’t care about whatever you are trying to establish with her.
7. “Why do you always get so angry?”
When she keeps blaming your feelings, particularly when you are angry or frustrated due to some issue that has arisen in the relationship, this is a sign of emotional invalidation. She puts the blame on you instead of recognizing your feelings. It is a strategy, which is employed to make you feel like you are the problem because you are the one overreacting and that, in fact, you are justified in being upset.
She does not want to get at the actual problem; she is being diversionary and making you feel that you are the one with a problem. In case you feel frustrated or angry with the relationship, you should explain that, but in case she dismisses it or says you are angry all the time, that is a red flag.
Conclusion
Words are powerful, and at the end of the day, they influence our self-perceptions and our relationships with the world around us.
When you constantly hear these words in your relationship, then it is high time to take a step back and see whether your relationship is worth fighting for or if it’s time to move on. Healthy relationships do not make you worse; they build you.
When what she tells you is causing you to doubt yourself, or feel like an emotional dry sponge, this is a definite indication you should walk away in order to maintain your own peace and self-respect. Don’t ignore the signs and be with a person who cares and respects you, not one who undermines your emotions.
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