I had a friend several years ago who I eventually realized was a narcissist.
At first, I didn’t think much of his competitiveness or strong personality. But over time, I started noticing the little things; how he minimized my victories, made subtle jabs, or suddenly grew sulky whenever I was doing well.
It took me a while to connect the dots, but what I was really seeing was jealousy. That experience opened my eyes to the ways narcissists hide their envy and helped me recognize it more easily ever since.
When you spend time around a narcissist, you’ll probably notice that their behavior can get pretty strange whenever they’re not in the spotlight.
Jealousy is one of the emotions they struggle with most. Unlike most people, who might admit, “Ugh, I feel a little jealous,” narcissists cannot tolerate the thought of being beneath anyone.
They rarely say it directly. Instead, they hide their jealousy behind digs, odd behavior, and sudden emotional shifts. These signs are often so subtle you wouldn’t notice them unless you knew what to watch for.
So, let’s look at 20 real signs that a narcissist is jealous of you—the kind you won’t find in most articles.
Signs a Narcissist Is Jealous of You
1. They Copy You in Strange Ways
A narcissist won’t just admire what you do—they’ll try to become you. If you pick up a new hobby, they suddenly get into it.
If you start wearing a new style, they may begin dressing the same way. It’s not flattery—it’s their jealousy trying to erase your uniqueness.
Related: How a Narcissist Plays the Victim Game To Manipulate You
2. They Kill Your Excitement
When you share a personal victory—like a promotion, a trip, or even a new recipe—you’ll notice they don’t really celebrate with you.
Instead, they’ll say things like, “That’s nice, but it’s not a big deal.” Their jealousy pushes them to downplay your happiness because it threatens their ego.
3. They Give Backhanded Compliments
Narcissists often hide jealousy inside disguised compliments. You might hear, “Wow, you actually look good in that outfit,” or, “I didn’t expect you to do that well.” It sounds like praise, but the real goal is to make you question yourself.
Related: How Do People Become Narcissists?
4. They Turn Everything Into a Competition
Even the smallest things become contests. If you mention jogging, they’ll tell you they ran faster. If you cook a meal, they’ll insist theirs tastes better. Their jealousy makes them turn life into a scoreboard.
5. They Act Overly Friendly Around People Who Praise You
When someone compliments you, the narcissist may suddenly go over the top—laughing too loudly, hugging that person, or hijacking the conversation. It’s their way of redirecting attention back to themselves because your recognition makes them uneasy.
Related; How Do Narcissists Treat Their Wives
6. They Pretend to “Teach” You What You Already Know
If you’re good at something, they’ll try to lecture you about it—even if they have no real expertise. For example, if you play an instrument, they might chime in with, “Well, real musicians…” It’s not guidance. It’s jealousy disguised as authority.
7. They Get Restless When You Talk About Yourself
Pay attention to their body language. While you’re telling a story, they might fidget, sigh, check their phone, or interrupt. It’s their way of showing discomfort because they can’t stand that you have the spotlight.
Related: 10 Things Narcissists Do Behind Your Back
8. They Try to One-Up Your Pain
If you share something difficult you went through, instead of offering empathy, they’ll jump in with, “That’s nothing, let me tell you what I went through.” It’s jealousy—they can’t stand you getting sympathy and attention.
9. They Question Whether You Deserve Your Success
A narcissist might suggest you didn’t really earn what you got. “Are you sure they picked you because you were the best? Maybe they just felt sorry for you.” Their jealousy drives them to plant doubt in your mind.
Related: How To Silence A Narcissist
10. They Shift Praise Back to Themselves
If you share your good news, instead of focusing on you, they’ll immediately start talking about their own achievements. It’s not an accident—it’s their way of making sure no one forgets they’re still the “star.”
11. They “Forget” Important Milestones
Birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, big launches—they’ll conveniently forget. Why? Because acknowledging your success makes them feel small. Their jealousy disguises itself as forgetfulness.
12. They Undermine You with “Jokes”
They might say something like, “Careful, don’t let it get to your head,” after you accomplish something. It sounds playful, but it’s actually jealousy dressed as humor, meant to chip away at your confidence.
Related: 12 Subtle Signs of a Narcissistic Girlfriend
13. They Change the Subject in Group Conversations
If you’re getting too much attention in a group, watch how quickly they shift the topic—usually back to themselves. They can’t tolerate being in the shadows, even for a moment.
14. They Act Cold After You Shine
You may notice them pulling away emotionally after you’ve been recognized for something. It’s not random moodiness—it’s jealousy creating distance because they don’t know how to handle your success.
Related: 5 Traits Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Have in Common
15. They Downplay Your Friendships
If you’re close with others, they’ll suggest those people aren’t truly genuine. “Be careful, she’s not really your friend.” Their jealousy makes them want to isolate you so they can feel superior again.
16. They Twist Your Words to Look Smarter
Sometimes, a narcissist will repeat something you said but reframe it slightly to make themselves look funnier or more intelligent. It’s subtle, but it’s their jealous way of stealing your shine.
17. They Criticize Your Effort, Not Just Your Results
Even when you succeed, they’ll nitpick how you got there. “Yeah, but you worked way too hard. If you were really talented, it would’ve been easy.” Their jealousy pushes them to belittle the process so your success feels less valuable.
Related: 20 Clear Signs of A Narcissistic Mother
18. They Withdraw Support Suddenly
When you’re thriving, instead of cheering you on, they may step back, stop helping, or act indifferent. Their jealousy makes them silent saboteurs who’d rather see you struggle than see you win.
19. They Steal Your Ideas and Phrases
You might notice them repeating your exact jokes, phrases, or even opinions later, claiming them as their own. It’s not admiration—it’s jealousy taking credit for your voice.
20. They Shower You with “Kindness” (But With Strings Attached)
Sometimes jealousy doesn’t look mean—it looks overly generous. After your win, they might suddenly shower you with gifts or favors. But there’s always a catch: it’s not genuine kindness. It’s their way of making you feel indebted so they can regain control.
Final Thoughts
Jealousy in narcissists rarely shows up directly. They won’t admit it. Instead, it leaks out in subtle digs, sarcasm, competition, coldness, or fake praise.
If you’ve noticed these signs, don’t second-guess yourself. Narcissists struggle with envy, and instead of dealing with it in a healthy way, they project it onto you.
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